You struggled to get her number. Soon after, everything was going great as your texting flirtations escalated. And then, all of a sudden, everything turned around, and there was nothing.
She stops texting and, well, ghosts you, creating an abyss of bitterness as you keep wondering where you went wrong. You keep asking yourself questions that have no answers.
We might have an answer for you.
It could be that you went down a notch with your texting, or that she found someone with better textual ideas.
Learning from great texters on how to how to text a girl may seem awkward. But it could be just the thing you need to ensure your next relationship does not take such a turn.
It’s hard enough for some people to get a phone number from their crush. This is why it might hit them even harder when they lose it because of poor texting.
Let’s face it. There are bad texters, and there are great texters. The difference between them lies in how they make use of words and arrange their texts for effective communication.
In this guide, we will be looking at the twelve secrets that a great texter already knows which will turn you into the next texting expert.
Texting should not be your main objective when you get her number. You should aim to get a date with her so you can take things to the next level.
Hence, you will find that these secrets are simple things you may already be aware of, yet you ignore them because you think they are too trivial. Let’s get right into it.
1. Texting is the most preferred way of communication
Walk along the streets or where people are sitting, and you will notice that they all have their phones in their hands. This is because they use them better while looking on the screen.
You may notice that some of them are smiling, and you start wondering what could be going on in their minds. Well, they have seen something on the screen that is really amazing.
It could be something they saw on social media. But some smiles can only be triggered by the thought of someone special.
Texting is the main forum for communication among many people in the modern world. It is easier and gets the message home faster than anything else.
You may argue that there is calling, and email. But these are only secondary methods. You will see more people typing a text message on their phones than holding them to their ears.
Great texters understand this factor, and they use it effectively to their advantage. Whenever they get a number from the girl they like, they compose an attractive message and let them know what they are feeling.
If you consider the number of people using their phones every day to text, you can say this is not a secret anymore, but an open truth.
However, until one realizes how effective texting is in communication, they may not see the need to create good texts that deliver effective messages. It’s all about learning what you can do with a message and taking advantage of the fact that it’s the easiest way to communicate with someone you love.
Many people stay connected to their family and friends via text. And it has been made easier by the fact that you can use effective tools to type faster.
2. People are more honest while texting than when face-to-face
Recent research by a body that deals with effective communication established that a large percentage of people are more honest over text than in face-to-face communication. One of the main reasons for this is that they don’t feel under so much pressure to say what is on their minds.
Have you noticed that it’s easier to apologize to someone over text than it is when you’re facing them? It’s a feeling that affects many people, and there isn’t much you can do about it.
The same goes for when you want to confess your feelings to your crush. Some people get so nervous that it becomes hard to think straight. It could be butterflies fluttering around in your stomach whenever you’re in their presence.
Texting makes things more comfortable as you can compose what is on your mind more calmly. She will also find it easier to respond to your feelings through the text than she would over a phone call or face-to-face.
If they don’t want to speak to you, they ghost you. That alone says they are not interested, which would be harder if they had to face you. Great texters understand this and use it to let the person they like open up to them. It can be great to know more about someone and take steps to steer your relationship in the right direction.
3. 99% of texts will be delivered
One of the main reasons great texters stick to this form of communication is that they know their message will be delivered. Research has shown that ninety-nine percent of text messages get delivered.
What happens when you try to call someone and they do not answer? They are not available. You are advised to leave them a voice message.
You can also send them a text message, and they will find it as soon as their phone comes back on. A text message can take a while to be delivered, but will eventually reach its destination at just the right time.
Apart from this, it has been established that ninety-percent of people read the texts they receive within the first three minutes. This information is crucial for companies that use text messages to communicate with their customers. It is no surprise that many firms are using this method.
Sending your crush a text guarantees that they will get your message much faster and react to it effectively. Also, it gives you time to plan your words effectively so that you can send a more focused message.
4. Texting increases intimacy
There is no denying that technology increases intimacy. We all know the effects of social media and how it has turned the world into a small global village.
We all have at least five people we are in constant communication with, and we use text messaging most of the time.
This is one of the secrets that great texters have discovered, and they are using it to get what they want. Couples who are married use text messages to check on each other daily.
When one leaves in the morning, a simple text like “Have a great day dear” can mean so much to that person. It shows great concern and that you understand what they are going through.
Consider this as well, “I saw this *add a photo/memory* and it got me thinking about you.” This is a message someone can send to their crush to tell them how much they care. It tells them that they are always on your mind.
Everyone likes to feel special and like they mean a lot to someone else. Reminding them of who they are via a text can evoke some feelings that you would never have anticipated. A single text message can make a girl fall in love with you. And the best part is, they are stored in the phone for reference. A great texter understands this secret, and they will always use it to their advantage.
5. Texting can be misconstrued
The most effective communication is done through body language. When you are talking to someone over the phone, you can feel their emotions through their voice.
Body movements and facial expressions tell you everything you need to know about the person you are talking to. This is why face-to-face communication is extremely effective.
When it comes to texting, you cannot see what the other person is feeling through the screen or text. You can only read about it, which doesn’t help much.
This can be both a boon and a bane.
It’s a boon because it makes communication easier in terms of having people open up. Hence, people are more honest via text messages.
It’s a bane because you cannot read their emotions, so it’s hard to tell exactly what it is they’re feeling. This is a limitation great texters have learned to live with, while still managing to use texting as a conducive environment for communication.
6. They don’t send short or boring messages
When texting your crush, it is important to capture their attention and keep them interested in the conversation until the end. You can only do this if you stay original and interesting.
Great texters don’t use short or boring messages such as “hey, hi, how are you?” These are messages you send to your bestie, not to your crush.
Your aim should be to hook them in and get the most desirable response, which can never come from such texts. Consider new and exciting messages that no one else has ever sent them. A good way to do this would be to find out what they like more in life. You can comment on activities they take part in which came out great.
7. They flirt
Consider a message like “Stop thinking about me…” This is a flirty message which is not too obvious.
If the person was thinking about you, they would be amazed at how you knew. If she wasn’t, it’s still a win for both of you. You will put a smile on her face.
Great texters understand that flirting is part of keeping the conversation interesting and letting her respond to your texts.
They also know that overdoing the flirting can cause more harm than good. They will, therefore, stop when the mood changes.
8. They use playful texts
Staying interesting via text is not easy, yet it’s the most effective way to keep her in the conversation. Consider something like, “What would you wish for if you had a chance to have anything you wanted right now?”
This is a good question that will keep the conversation very interesting. You always want to keep the conversation balanced in terms of her participation.
If you are not sure how to compose playful texts, think of something exciting that happened in her life or something that you both love.
9. They always end the conversation
This may sound very unusual, but great texters always end the conversation first even if they did not initiate it. It’s always good to send the last message.
This is because it helps them stay in control and know where they left off to pick up from for the next conversation. Control is a crucial component to achieving success in a text conversation.
Also, make sure the conversation ends on a positive note while letting her know if you have something else to do. This way you will not leave her hanging and expecting more from you. This is a polite way to keep a good relationship.
10. Text messages are not your chief purpose
It isn’t good form to hide behind your phone and keep texting forever. Great texters know that texts are only a way to schedule a date with her. They want to have that experience of talking to her face-to-face and feeling her presence.
Sometimes they even call. Many people are afraid of making such moves, but they allow you to stand out and make a difference.
11. They use open-ended statements
Effective texting requires the use of open-ended statements. If you are looking for a date, try to use statements or questions that require yes or no answers. Say or ask something that calls for an explanation. Your interlocutor will become more interested in meeting you if they spend more time texting.
12. Confidence is key
It does not matter much what you send, but how you send it. You need to be bold and confident in the conversation.
She will sense if you are trying too hard to impress, which is not a good sign. If she does not reply immediately, be patient, and wait until she does.
Texting is not exclusively used in relationships. It is widely used for communication in other contexts. But it can be especially useful for building strong relationships. Master these twelve secrets, and you will become a great texter.
Kijan “Kee” Pole is an expert dater, texter, and coach who helps men do great with women.
He brings a fun, flirtatious style to dating and gets his students to do so too.
Kee writes for men’s dating advice site Girls Chase.