Sex, the thing no one in this world can live without, and the same thing that is vital for the survival of the human race. And yet we barely talk about it. Not even couples in a relationship are brave enough to bring the subject of “sex should be discussed openly” to the table. Sexuality, the feelings we have about sex-related topics, are often suppressed.
Is this good or normal? Are having thoughts about a certain matter trapped inside our minds a healthy thing for us to practice? I think not. Just like any other topic, people tend to discuss so should be with sex. Parents should talk to their kids about sex and sexuality without shame, husband and wife should talk about sex-related desires and issues, and friends should discuss sex as sharing experiences is a great way to solve problems.
I will never forget how I was once told by a guy (a friend of mine) that his favorite female body part is a woman’s buttocks. How he loves his girlfriend’s firm round booty. But he also said that this same girlfriend always tells him to stop giving her trashy compliments and that he should try to remain sophisticated at all times.
I honestly don’t know what and how exactly did he say that to her, I think that all women should be proud if a guy compliments any part of her. Whether it is a sexy booty, or lips, or hair, or breast, or anything at all. We would like to present, in this article, the top 5 reasons why sex should be discussed openly among people, and that there’s no shame in talking about sexual matters at all. There are mostly benefits to it if the discussion is properly handled.
So here are 5 reasons why we think sex should be discussed openly
- Even though it’s sometimes awkward, sex talk might solve intimate issues
- Only by telling your partner what you want you’ll be able to get that
- Sex talk is sexy
- Sex should be discussed openly with children to assure safety
- No communication equals no learning
An open sexual discussion does indeed carry many benefits. We’d like to talk about each of the listed points a bit more. Let’s try to explain to them more in-depth and check whether there’s truly any significance in having talks about sex. I will try, wherever I can, base my arguments on real-life personal experiences of my own, or of someone that is/was really close to me.
I remember how hard it was for me and how pathetic I felt. There was a time that I simply couldn’t sexually satisfy my own girlfriend. I didn’t know what the problem was, I just knew she wouldn’t reach an orgasm, regardless of how long the sexual intercourse lasted.
I tried everything. More foreplay, more caressing, more kissing, trying to prepare romantic ambient but simply nothing worked. We never talked about it, I tried to hide my disappointment over myself, and she wouldn’t say anything either. Until one day she finally said it: “I can’t go like this any longer. I have terrible lacerations down there, my skin is completely dry and every time we do it, it just hurts.”
I finally knew the reason. It wasn’t me. I must say I was quite pleased with that, but I couldn’t understand why she was hiding that from me. She said when we talked, that she knows I have needs and she didn’t want to disappoint me. I told her, next time we should talk if there are any discomforts or issues, and that I would never be angry or resent her if she’s having problems.
We kissed, made up, she started treating her skin with some ointments and in one month, when she healed we could do it again without any problems. I was so happy to finally hear those screams of pleasure and satisfaction coming from her once again. I am still happy that we openly discussed sex in that case, and open sexual discussion soon became a habit for both of us, who previously looked at it as a taboo topic.
2. Only by telling your partner what you want you’ll be able to get that
When it comes to sexual desires, you won’t be able to fully fulfill them if you don’t share your thoughts with your partner. There are so many “fetishes”, of which some are kinkier than others. Simple stuff, such as sexy lingerie may be a thing that turns you on. However, a woman can’t know what a man lusts for if you don’t discuss sex.
The same goes vice versa, how can a man know what exactly a woman is longing for if she keeps it a secret? Just the other day I heard two women in their late 30s talk sex over a bar table. They were so focused in their chat that they completely missed me having a seat at the table right by.
One of them expressed to the other, how her husband used to give her an amazing oral, and that in recent years he never did that and how great it would be if he had. Well, I wonder if she ever told him to do it. My guess is she didn’t.
Therefore, you should talk about sexual matters and desires with your partner, if you really want them to understand what you want and lust for. A simple thing such as the use of personal lubricant (lube) can be someone’s secret desire. Oiling up that body to glow, massaging it, and caressing it, prior to engaging in the main act. And that’s only the second of 5 reasons why sex should be discussed openly.
Openly talking about sex can be a real turn-on. Whether it is with your partner or with anyone else, sex discussion can lead to neediness. That feeling, when a conversation turns you on, is in my opinion one of the best things that a person can feel. And when it finally comes to an act, you are able to fully enjoy those secret desires you had during the day, and turn your fantasies into reality.
Some lines that come to mind and would definitely turn on anyone:
- Partner sending a text to his SO: “I wish I was with you now, so I could do some things to you that are just too dirty to be spoken of out loud.”
- Girls speaking privately: “You can’t imagine how glorious it felt when he threw me on the bed and did some magic down there. I was in heaven.”
- Two guys discussing sex: “When she grabbed my hand and placed it right on that spot, her moaning became so intense. It made me feel godly.”
A simple line told at the right time with the right tone, can become an extreme turn on. And that’s another great reason why sex should be discussed openly
4. Sex should be discussed openly with children to assure safety
Children, young and innocent, how can they possibly learn things if elders don’t share knowledge with them. Usually, they won’t listen anyway and do things their own way, however, in their subconscious there will be that awareness of what they’ve been thought.
There are so many topics to share:
- what are the dangers of sex;
- what are the key reasons to use protection during sex;
- for girls – why you shouldn’t be easy to get even if the guy is hot and you’re totally into him;
- for boys – what are the erogenous zones on a female body;
- and plenty more …
A teenager should have some clues about sex and poses some basic knowledge before having that first sexual experience. How to avoid STDs, how to have safe sex, what things to do to your partner to satisfy them … The conversation will always be awkward at the start, however, if you’re able to break that ice, you may gain his/her trust and they’ll listen to you.
According to todaysparent.com talking about sex since the early ages pays off. If you never talk about how the baby gets inside mom’s belly when children are still young (like under 5 years old), you’ll have problems discussing sex with them when they’re teenagers. Try to listen to them, and don’t just use “don’t sentences” – don’t do this, don’t do that. Be positive and value their teenage romances. Try to be supportive and helpful.
5. No communication equals no learning
How do we learn things in life? By reading, by watching, by practicing and with lots of communication. Such is also the case in sexual skills and knowledge about sexual matters. Can someone be expected to learn new things, if the subject is not discussed openly?
My friend told me way back about the thing he does to his girlfriend that totally turns her on, driving her crazy. I will not reveal what it is, but I still believe to this very day, that many people (grownups) don’t know about that erogenous zone of a female body.
Of course, as soon as I had the chance I had to try what my friend told me. After having one of the best late-night acts, the girl said to me: “I love you so much. You’ll always be mine!” – Can you imagine hearing that a few minutes after she has an orgasm? My ego grew exponentially after that. And it was due to communication. I learned the trick by openly discussing sex with one of my close friends.
I’d like to conclude that not only sex but all topics in life that have some sort of impact on us, should be discussed among people. Many subjects are thought to be inappropriate for open discussion, but I tend to disagree. What gives someone the right to select what we can talk about and what we can’t? What gives someone the right to censure topics that are in no way grotesque or vulgar? We ask ourselves questions about childbirth and politics, so this should be no different.
Can sexuality be openly discussed? It seems that everything is slowly becoming inappropriate, while it still carries enormous importance for our well-being and the quality of our lives. Share the information that you have learned here about these 5 reasons why sex should be discussed openly.
Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Have a great day!